I’m laying in bed the fan is on high, the way I like it but it’s too loud. I can’t hear things clearly. I can hear noises but can’t tell where they are coming from, someone might be trying to break into my shed. Wouldn’t that be just great!? Then I’d have to try to catch them so they don’t steal my things and there would be a huge disturbance while I scream for the neighbours to call the cops. I’d feel victorious but then after pressing charges they would maybe send people to come after me and break in at night. Oh my God what if someone is trying to break in right now!? What would I do? How would I escape? Could I escape? STOP! The feeling in my stomach is anxious stew, whirling around while I feel the constricting of my stomach muscles trying to hold the feelings in place but they creep and end up in my chest. My breath….am I still breathing? BREATH! Gasping for air, I tell myself nothing is even happening other than the crazy ideas I come up with in my head and I focus my self on my breathing while saying in a mantra to myself that “I’m okay.” I can start to feel my muscles surrendering from their vicious grips as I take another breath in through my nose. Calm starts to wash over me. As I’m breathing I start to judge my silly mind and my silly body on how it reacts to such nonsense these days. I can feel my head starting to get flooded with my harsh criticism and remind myself, Alice you are not helping with that kind of thought. Gently I agree with myself and take another deep breath in my nose and hold it, imagining every breath I take is one of healing light and power. Every breath that comes into me soothes me and breaks down the negativity getting ready to clear it away. With a release of my breath, I let out all the negativity inside of me. Any part of my body that was not at ease I imagined has been healed by the white pure light of breath and then the colour changes according to the pain or negativity. As I breath out I see that ugly bruised purple colour of breath leave my chest and I feel so much more at ease. Now and then I can feel the anxiety coming back in my chest and I just remind myself to keep breathing. This focus on breathing is my medicine. Some times I forget to take a good dose of it and can get lost in all my crazy thoughts but I know I’ll always have this way out with me. My meditation is my saviour.