in the heat of the moment

No Life Jackets

The feeling of sadness and endless tears lingers just beneath the surface, causing¬† turmoil. Tightening every muscle in my shoulders and neck. I try to bring out a salty release but it’s as though the voice wont let me. The voice that has been getting louder since Ive left you. The voice that started off telling me it will be okay is now the voice that screams at me that you are not worth my tears. So I carry my love for you like a bittersweet burden, because for me its not a step I can take that moves me away. There isn’t a movement on earth that can break this chain right now. I hold on to my secret dear and close. I fear you’d use it as a strong hold against me and my invisible leash and collar will be seen by all. Its different for you isn’t it though, my love? I guess its easy to move along in the sea of love when you’ve cast out floaters everywhere you swim. I’d rather not play it safe, love. Its why I jumped ship and swam as hard as I could while you were adjusting the mast. I wanna ride those waves and have that storm consume me until I’m floating in the calm ripples of it.¬† Exhausted and a completely beautiful mess. I’m going to let my heart sail free.